Thursday, April 22, 2010

A Timely Word:: The Myth of Being The Perfect Parent

This morning was rough. Let me preface with one thing:: V has been gone all week.

Titus woke as usual just after Justus around 6:30. We hung out, got dressed for school and I noticed Titus was acting out a bit here and there, but that's not all that abnormal in the rush of getting off to school. His acting out sorta turned to, what seemed to be a sadness. So as I helped him put his tennis shoes on I asked him if he was okay. He started to cry and say he missed V and so we got his shoes on and called Dad. He got to leave a voicemail and that helped. I asked him what else he thought would make this morning get better, and being a product of his mother's weakness, he replied, "Starbucks for breakfast!" So I agreed, telling him that was a great idea and we got in the car and left. All was well.

We pulled in the drive thru and I confirmed with Titus what he wanted. He said he didnt want chocolate milk today he wanted hot chocolate so I proceeded in line and ordered. When we received our ordered I handed it back to Titus and at that moment he realized he didnt want hot chocolate he wanted chocolate milk. Cue MELT DOWN. As he melted down I told him I would keep the Hot Chocolate until he could receive it gratefully. Cue BIGGER MELT DOWN, I am talking flailing and all. Then something different happened. Usually the meltdown will come, we talk a bit about self-control and grateful hearts and all is well in the world of Titus. But not the today. Today, the more I talked the more he got upset until finally he yelled at me. And I am talking YELLED. He told me I was so mean. (as I held a HIS starbucks drink in my hand mind you!) So taken aback, I started crying. Girls, I am not talking just a little tear, I am talking full on ugly, cant control yourself cry. I had a whilwind of emotions:: hurt, guilt from all the transition we have put him through, guilt from not knowing how to handle the situation, guilt from taking him to starbucks to make his morning better instead of pointing him to Christ who is the only one who can truly help, fear for his life, his salvation, fear of his depravity and back to hurt.

Y'all, I know that seems a little dramatic of a response to a 5 year old's yell, but it was so real to me. I went from being hurt that he would ever say I was purposely being mean to him to agonizing over the state of his soul. I generally can handle situations like this but not today folks, not today. My emotions won. The depth of responsibilty to present the Gospel to our children, the Good News of God's saving power out of sin and death and the idea that I HAVE NO CONTROL over God's leading and prodding and presuing my very son overwelmed me. As he yelled in the depths of his selfishness, I was hurt, but more importantly, I was reminded that he is depraved, as we all are apart from Christ. And began to beg God to forgive me for thinking I could be "a certain kind of mom" or do certain things that would win his little heart to Christ. I began to beg God to set Titus and Justus apart for HIS glory.

As we drove, we both stopped crying and forgave each other. After we prayed, I dropped him off at school a happy little man. While sitting in the car outside his school I checked twitter on my iPhone. On it there was a link to a friend of mine's blog entitled:: THE MYTH OF BEING THE PERFECT PARENT. I went straight for it and recieved such encouragement from it. She said, "The goal is not to be a perfect parent. The goal is to be a faithful parent. And as long as my focus is on my own success or failure, rather than faithfulness to and love for the kingdom of God, I have failed." And although my friend is in a different stage of parenting than I am, it was a timely word for me and I told you this entire story hoping that same blog would be a timely word for you.

and read it is so good. Thanks Kim!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

A Mommies Delight and A Photographers Demise:: The iPhone Camera

Since I got an iPhone in the fall, I ALWAYS forget my camera. I use to not go anywhere without "the Beast" my DsLR Canon Rebel. Now, since the iPhone offers a variety of photo apps and can put them online via twitter and FB as soon as it is taken, I have slacked on capturing good, memory book quality photos for the last 9 months. This makes life alot easier for me as a mom because I can just whip out the ol' phone and voila!, a decent picture instantly sent to the world wide web. BUT it has been to my demise as a photographer. My blog has lacked in quality pics as well as my sons photo books. Y'all, I am not talking everyday life events, I am talking once in a life time events that warrant the use of a good camera, like V turning 30, Moving to a new state, T loosing his first teeth and my bro getting married! So I thought I would catch you all up on what the ol' Canon has missed and the iPhone has captured::

Our last night in Fort Worth::

We Moved to Missouri::

Titus' first day at his new school::
My brother got married::

Titus' first "Snow Day" NO SCHOOL!!

Two Switchfoot Concerts

Road trip with Danielle and Mikail to Chicago for Edens Bday

Vernon turned 30 so we went to Portland to Powel's Books!


Titus lost his two bottom teeth!

A trip to SBU to lead worship with the guys.
Such a sweet time in Bolivar, great memories.

I've gotten to make some fun gifts for friends and children around the world.

Thank you iPhone for coming through for this Mom. Canon, get ready for your come back.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Worth the Buy

This series came out on a web show , Jelly Telly, you could subscribe to and watch online last year. We LOVED watching it and benefited from all that the site offered. It is full of FUN, Church History and Bible Teaching. They take terms like substitutionary atonement, Salvation and Redemption and explain them in terms and with examples that kids of all ages can grasp. It has been such a fun addition to what we are trying to teach our boys! It takes questions like, "where did we get the books of the Bible and Why not others?" and, "How did Christianity spread?" and make them into an easy to listen to, fun church history lesson. Both parents and children will love watching it! I hope you stop by your local Christian book store and get a couple DVD's or order them HERE. You can also subscribe to the website, Jelly Telly. ENJOY!

Friday, April 02, 2010

Happy Easter From The Burger Boys

Thursday, April 01, 2010

To Buy Some Time

This is my lame attempt to buy some time on some blog posts that are stirring in my head but have not landed on the screen of the ol' macbook pro.

My monthly reading this year has looked like this::

This Jan-April Reading. I am 68 pgs into Dug Down Deep and May will be this:

No plans after that...what are you reading...I would love to add some to my years list!