Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Deep Thoughts By Titus Burger

If you have gotten to know our sweet son Titus, you know that he is SO FUN! He loves to play, inside or outside; if there is playing to had, he is there. One of my favorite parts about Titus' personality is, although he loves to play, he is ALWAYS thinking. His little mind NEVER turns off. We have shared many stories about his thoughts and questions with a lot of you here and there, but I thought I would post a few so I would have them somewhere so I will never forget them. If we have told you some that are not on this list....please comment them!

  • The other night we were leaving Target. Titus points up to the sky and says, "Mommy, that is outer space and do you know what is past that?" Curious, I said, " What is past it?" "Heaven." he said. "oh, cool." I replied. (a thoughtful pause by Titus) "Mommy, does God really reach His hand down from Heaven and pull us into His lap?" Caught off guard, I said, "That's a great question." Because, think of how scary of an idea that is for a three year old that some hand would come out of the sky, yet I want him to know that God will draw him near. So we chatted about it all the way home.
  • Titus was in his room playing when he came running to me. "Mommy, were the Ninevites, Roman or Assyrian?" "Son, I am unsure," I said, "Lets go try to figure it out" So we looked up some things and figured out they are in fact Assyrian. Who knew?
  • Vernon had a big cut on the lower part of his hand almost his wrist. Titus was very concerned about his "bleed" and wanted to help "bandage" it. Later in the evening Vernon was hanging out talking with a friend and Titus ran in the room, "Daddy, let me see your bleed." So Vernon showed him the cut. "Daddy, its like when the Romans crucified Jesus on the Cross." So Vernon kindly explained the similarity and the BIG difference. (long thoughtful pause by Titus) "Daddy, why did they crucify Jesus naked?" So Vernon took some time to explain embarrassment. To which Titus replied, "hmm, I did not know that." And he ran away to play.
  • Robin was reading to Titus one day when out of no where he said, "Robin, I am not sure God hears me when I pray." So she kindly inquired why he thought this and he replied, "Well, I can't see Him and He doesn't talk back."
  • Titus was about to throw a ball right at Vernon and so he said, "Daddy, do not get frustrated. I am going to throw this at you."
  • Titus is full of random facts, if you read him a book about something, he will remember the most obscure things. One example is, "Mommy, did you know that Kelp is a type of Seaweed?"
  • One day Titus was taking a bath and Vernon noticed he was playing with his Jonah action figure, saying something and then holding him under the Vernon peeked in and said, "Hey man what are you doing?" Titus replied, "oh just baptizing Jonah."
I know there are many more but that is all for now! Hope you got to know the mind of our little guy. Pray for us as we continue to try to challenge his little mind and encourage his questions!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

BC Series: Continued
What If Question #1 :
What if my spouse and I don't hold the same convictions on this issue?

I hope that you have been following along at Phyllis's Blog as she has unpacked most (or all) forms of Family Planning, giving you information on each one, both what they do physically to your body and how each are approached morally. Please take time to read through the blogs or print them out to read later...they are so informative.
Now I am going to attempt to continue the series addressing a couple of questions that have come up over our discussions.
One of the most common fears when addressing the issue of Family Planning is that your spouse will not come to the same conclusions as you and that it will cause a major rift in your marriage. This fear is completely understandable because of the nature of this subject.
As I attempt to outline some suggestions on how to handle these particular situations, I humbly say that these suggestions are by no means an outline to getting your spouse to think your way. In fact, it is far from that. I pray you will seek the Lord with an earnest heart asking that He would make your heart and motives pure.

1) If you are the one who is convicted about the morality of the family planning method you are using and your spouse sees nothing wrong with it....

*Pray for Unity- My first suggestion is that you pray earnestly for unity (even before the subject is brought up if possible). Seek the Lord and his direction on how to approach discussions about this issue. The enemy would love to steal and kill the intimacy of your marriage so wage war in prayer.
* DO NOT NAG- This can go either way I guess, but I am specifically talking to wives here. Proverbs 27:15 likens nagging (or quarrelling) your husband with a dripping faucet! Give them time to adjust to new thoughts and ideas. Do all you can to be humble when presenting your convictions.
* AVOID MANIPULATION AT ALL COST!- I believe this is the most harmful approach, but sadly most people will manipulate with out even knowing they are doing it! On this point I must say that my husband and I have had SO many friends who marital problems stemmed from one of the two of them manipulating the other. (examples- a wife making a husband feel guilty for not wanting to have sex during the most fertile time. A husband making a wife feel intellectually inferior in order to get the end result they desire) There are practical ways to avoid manipulation. First I would say, remember you are not necessarily right. Hear out, with a good attitude all of what your spouse has to present. Avoid writing it off just because it is not the same opinion as yours. Secondly, and along the same lines, admit that your spouse is mature and can think logically and can come to right conclusions. Third and probably most important, do not communicate to them with the sole purpose of getting your way, be willing to communicate and come to an understanding.
* Present Solid Facts- Do not assume your spouse is going to come to the same conviction as you by reading some random persons blog. Search the Scriptures, do your research and present to your spouse hard facts and evidence of what you believe. You do not want to degrade the intelligence of your spouse by expecting them to be convinced by some random outside source. I am not saying, these blogs, and other random sources won't be helpful to begin the conversations, but do have more for them if they would like more.

2) If you see nothing wrong with the morality of your Family Planning and your spouse has different convictions...
* Be willing to listen- if you were the one with a strong conviction you would want your spouse to hear you out as well.
* Be kind- Choose your spouse over yourself until you can come to a conclusion you both agree on.
* Value your spouses view- Be willing to read what is presented. Do your own research not in effort to prove them wrong but with an open heart, valuing the seriousness of the issue to them.

I realize that this subject is so hard to address. Every one's situations are different and every ones spouses respond differently to situations. I understand that many people facing the convictions of the morality of certain Birth Controls do not have spouses that value their opinion and many do not have spouses who honor the Lord and His Word. If this is your situation or you know someone who is going through this journey, please feel free to comment additional advice and encouragement! We would love to join you in prayer through this time.

There are so many more scenarios and thing to address regarding this question.
I have asked my husband to guest blog to hopefully address somethings I have missed. Please add to this blog by commenting even more advice and approaches! If you have dealt with this issue personally we would love to hear your testimony!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Justus is Served

This has been a crazy week around the Burger house. We had a great weekend visit in Midland and arrived home in Fort Worth Monday morning at 2:30! After a short sleep we hit the ground running Monday morning. We dropped Titus off at pre-school and headed to a routine OB visit. At the visit, I told them about some possible 'leaking' over the weekend. I made a joke out of it because honestly I just assumed, being my second pregnancy, that it was, well, you know, a little tinkle here and there, if you know what I mean. Well, they asked me to describe what I meant and seemed very serious about it. They decided after my description, which I will spare you, that there was a good chance I was leaking amniotic fluid. So they tested me. First test came back a very strong POSITIVE. So the proceeded with a second test to confirm the first and it came back NEGATIVE. My doctor was perplexed because he said the second test usually always confirms the first and lets them know the severity. After much thought and analysis he sent me home and asked that we retake the test on Wednesday.
Wednesday morning arrives and I take Titus to Pre-school and head to the doctor. The nurse called me back to do the usual dreaded, weight check. I asked her, "So what happens if both test turn out positive this time?' to which she replied, "well, we head to the hospital and have a baby." My world stopped for a second, how could I have not thought through all this? Who would pick up Titus? How would I get a hold of Vernon who was in class? We don't even have a car seat yet, and defiantly no preemie clothes. Who would watch Titus while we stayed with the baby in NICU? Wow, the list went on and on, when suddenly the sweet whisper of the Holy Spirit said, "Just Trust." So I did. I realized that we are so blessed with sweet friends and family that everything would get taken care of just fine.
In came the doctor to take the test. First test...Still POSITIVE. deep breath, second one....NEGATIVE. WHAT? what does that mean? So he took a third test to be sent to the lab. "The lab would get back to us on Friday," he said. "If it is positive, you will be having the baby in the next week or two so we will do all we can to keep Justus in womb until 36 weeks. If it is negative, we will just monitor you, but you can resume life as normal. "
Wednesday night I woke to really strong contractions, every four minutes. I am talking, jolt you out of bed contractions. So I got up, walked around, drank some water and ate some food and finally around 3 they went away. Needless to say, this event kinda brought to reality, that we might, in fact be in preterm labor. So Thursday seemed SOO LONG...waiting for Friday's results.
It's Friday around 2 pm and I just got off the phone with my nurse who brought the wonderful news that the test was negative, which means there is a 96% chance that I will carry this baby at minimum two more weeks! This will take us well into the safety zone regarding low birth weight and under developed lungs! Praise the Lord!
I never dreamed I would enlist my friend to pray I was just tinkling my self and most certainly,
I never dreamed I would be Praising GOD that I, in fact, was probably just me tinkling myself! HAHA! who knew?

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Four Reasons Why I've Not Blogged Since Easter

Let me first say, the Birth Control Series is NOT over in fact it is going strong, I just haven't had a chance to link my sister-in-laws latest blogs. I think they are the most informative yet and well worth your time to read over. She is going through each method of Birth Control and exploring pros and cons of each. So far she has covered, Natural Family Planning, Barrier Methods, Withdrawal, and IUD's. Please stop in and read....HERE is the link.

Okay now back to my excuses...

1.) With this second pregnancy, I often find myself forgetting that I am even pregnant. I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous but I have just been so active and so busy, that I find myself going, "oh, wait, I cant do that, I am pregnant." Well last Monday, I went about my normal Monday, exercising, working on church and His Voice work while Titus is in school and normal every week house stuff like cleaning and mowing the lawn. That evening I found my self exhausted from the day. I was chatting with Vernon in his office and said something like, "man I am so tired," as I BELLY FLOPPED out of exhaustion onto a low twin bed. In mid fall, i realized what I had done and couldn't stop my fall. I immediately curled up into fetal position in pain and kept saying, "i cant believe i just did that!" Through the night I noticed little to no fetal movement, so naturally I was concerned. After waiting until the next afternoon with still no felt movement, I called my doc. He sent me straight to the Hospital. At the hospital, they monitored me for two hours and all was well. Then I started having contractions! (i am only 32 weeks along) They were 4 mins apart and not stopping, so they made me stay. After drinking, eating and moving positions, the contractions didn't stop so they gave me a shot to stop them. It worked great and so an hour later we were on our way home. At 1:30am the contractions came back. They lasted until 4am and I got them to stop. The next morning I called my friend Janelle for some advice and moral support. She advised me to call and tell my doctor that I had more contractions and so I did. He had me come back in and be checked. He released me to full activity...just no belly flopping! amen!

2.) This coming weekend we have a Board Meeting for our Non-Profit Ministry, His Voice for Sudan. I am the Treasurer and Secretary. So needless to say, I have a lot to prepare. Since we just started this Non-profit, I have had to read a lot of IRS info and learn a lot about things I knew NOTHING about. On the accounting side of things, I was determined to buy and learn Quick Books Pro before our meeting. I worked on it and watched tutorials for hours and each one made me feel more and more like a a moron. The lingo of QBpro is what threw me off. It is set up for businesses so everything is Invoice driven and our tiny little Non-profit has no, and never intends to have, customers and vendors! So I broke down and bought Quicken. To which I downloaded and fully finished EVERYTHING I needed done for the meeting in ONE of Titus' naps. It is so awesome...and I now feel a lot less incompetent.

3.) Titus has been extra needy and quite honestly, I have wanted to spend more time with him. I want to spend as much time as I can with him before the baby comes. Titus is a one-on-one kid. I mean, through and through. If you come and visit, he will ask you to come to his room and play...just one else. He loves quality time. (and if you are laughing right now that God gave me, of all people, a one-on-one kid and a quality time kid then I know you know me well..these are not my strong suites!) Anyway, so I have been trying to be intentional to play with him and go out with him to places we love.

4.) I have been trying to read up on basic baby info, like breastfeeding and growth. I feel soooo far removed from these things. Also, we don't do the normal vaccination regimen so I am reading a book about Vaccines to brush up on what to ask for from my pediatrician.

well there you have it. my excuses. now, may my mind return to me so i can post more often!
Next up:
BC Series: The What If's and the long awaited... Deep Thoughts by Titus Burger